Preface: I am a piss-poor philosopher so if my understanding of The Real is incorrect, please try to explain in a simple manner.
Draculas Castle is a lesser known work of thecatamites, it is currently only hosted on glorious trainwrecks. This may explain its' obscurity, given the fact that glorious trainwrecks is not the most popular site. The author field says `PizzaLOrd39` but given the fact that this is the only online presence of Pizza Lord, and that this game bears stylistic hallmarks similar to other thecatamites works, we can safely attribute it to him. I will explain the story of the game in due time but I Implore you to play it yourself if you are on Windows:https://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/2248
Download the file and unzip it, Click on the executable in the first folder. The game will take about five minutes to play.
If you are not on Windows, I have uploaded a play-through here: https://youtu.be/507OorFp9iU
The game starts with a rollicking 90's music from Spider-Man: Maximum Carnage composed by Heavy Metal Comedy Band Green Jellÿ. The player seems to be communicating with a man named Ricardo, represented by a futuristic man whose art has been dithered (a way to achieve better contrast in earlier computer monitors by using patterns, because said screens could not display as many colors). These two elements heavily evoke a straight-to-video 80's-90's action/horror/sci-fi tone.
Ricardo tells the player that "you've made it this far kid, but don't get cocky! Dracula could be around every corner." the first sentence implies a sort of media res, in which this is the final confrontation versus the dread count. We really don't know much about the player avatar or Ricardo, but how much character development can one cram into five minutes? What is the relationship between us and Ricardo? I think it's akin to a superior commander, but again, 5 minutes.
Next Ricardo serves as a tutorial figure to us, stating that "Your 'True Spirit' let's you fire BloodCrystals with SPACE to totally destroy the evil Dracula!". What is this 'True Spirit'? If I understood Hegel I could attempt to make a guess, but we've no time to get into the nitty gritty. We have to destroy dracula. What are BloodCrystals and how are they able to defeat Dracula? It seems to be a red ball, therefore composed of blood (whose blood? Ours?).
Finally, Dracula makes his appearance. But he appears to be non-human!? To me his visage evokes puppets. He is not particularly menacing or scary. His entire body is orange, with a purple cross upon his chest. Is this irony against the popular vampire weakness of crosses, or perhaps a nod towards Vlad the Impaler (at least) nominally being a Christian? On his face appear to be nostrils or alternatively a mustache. Regardless, a single BloodCrystal smites him. Has the evil Dracula been defeated?
No! A few steps later we are greeting by two more Draculas. Ricardo reacts by asking that "which is the real dracula!". Soon enough they are smited, yet he brings up a good question. So, who is the genuine Dracula? Bram Stoker's Dracula, or his countless adaptations, Vlad Dracula, or the original folklores that amalgamated into Stoker's works? Is it Elizabeth Báthory, rumoured to have bathed in the blood of her victims? Is it Camilla, or perhaps Varney the Vampire? Of course, there were impalers and cruel kings before and after Dracula. This enumerations are simply to posit that there is no Real Dracula. There is no Real Dracula in that the imaginary Dracula is formed from cultural mythos of murders, strange dissappearances, etc. Someone much better at studying Draculas and Vampires has surely explained this better than me.
Within the next room we come to the punchline of the game. A room flooded with Draculas. Ricardo screams out "oh jesus". Probably in the same cadence as "oh shit!" and not an appeal to the messiah of the Christians for salvation at said moment. (Though I don't even think Ricardo is with us in the infiltration, so he is exclaiming this for our sake alone). The Draculas keep coming forth with an endless pit before us. Note that the title "Draculas Castle" is without a possesive apostrophe. It could be Dracula's , the genuine evil overlord; it could be Draculas' Castle, owned by the multitude vampires as seen in the end of the game. Within a few seconds the application closes out. Diagetically, This could represent a cutting of the video feed, or simply that the player has died. Behind the hood, I assume the game closes because spawning enumerable objects in Unity will surely cause it to crash, and also for comedic effect. Why does the viewer need to linger on much longer in this doomed world? Dracula has won. Vincent Price and Bela Lugosi are laughing in their catacombs. Muhahaha.